Sunday 20 January 2013

CAN EX-LOVERS EVER REMAIN FRIENDS???



(Part One)





Okay, here is the time I insert the angry face smiley cause this is my second time of putting down this article. Blame my stupid phone and the super crazy battery just went off before I could save it, hian!! I so so liked the first one, I'm so looking forward to loving this one. #chill let me save first biko. Done!

As you all know my name remains IssyB (bows) and I will be trashing some very disturbing relationship issues. Okay let's work through this together. You meet someone; you guys get close, then close, then close and close and start up something called a relationship. You share secrets, laugh, cry, argue, good times, terrible moments, start making promises, kisses!!! Oh I love this part, probably get intimate, build up trust, tight hugs, crazy moments, fights, and learn to appreciate each other against all the odds and flaws... then things start to change, bad... rare calls, low communications, then worse, no hanging out, nagging and fighting excessively, and the worst...THE BREAK UP.


Now whether or not you have experienced a break up or not you will obviously agree with me there rarely is anything called a mutual break up, one person got hurt! Now it’s left for the breaking up party to say stuffs like 'sorry it’s really not you that has the problem, or oh you are a really nice person and I will really like to stay friends’... this is what I call a peace offering of friendship after unleashing the monster.

Obviously now the person dumping someone will maybe consider this and say yes and welcome a whole new level of awkwardness or let their exes go with the wind.

Honestly as nice as I think I am, I'm not sure I can stay friends with my ex unless I am hopeful for a comeback... to be continued and yeah I remembered to save this time*wink*

IssyB

15 comments:

  1. Anonymous20 January 2013 at 08:54

    Serzly....... u bin frnds wit ur ex a very matured fin 2do. 4get d fact sum1 got hurt along d line,bt to me its coming 2 an understanding dat d relationship didn't workout.

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  2. Nnamdi20 January 2013 at 09:13

    For me its a very delicate issue, with varied but respectable opinions, but personally why not? As long as she has qualities I can still respect her for, I'll surely stay friends.Nowadays its never advisable to cut anyone off totally...You never know. Dr. Sly

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  3. issyB20 January 2013 at 09:42

    @anonymous 08:54
    True!! staying friends is the ideal thing to do...but how easy is it?...that you say hi to someone doesn't make them your friends...will post the concluding part tomorrow!

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  4. IssyB20 January 2013 at 10:04

    @Nnamdi Yea true! No one is completely useless. But dealing with the awkwardness is what a lot of people will try avoiding...

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  5. DTD20 January 2013 at 10:31

    Ermmm.... I jus broke up with my lady, now an ex. After two months we started talking but we both know we are not coming together. She is my friend.

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  6. IssyB21 January 2013 at 00:58

    Hi DTD!
    Sorry about your break up but the truth is never conclude for someone else cause you only know what they want you to! The mind and heart holds the darkest secrets of one's life. So it might be wrong to conclude for her that she knows you are not coming back together.
    question: are you seeing someone else? Or is she seeing someone too?

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  7. durrybeez21 January 2013 at 01:12

    I think its cool if u stay friends with ur ex! But the person offering the friendship would mostly be the person ending the relationship! And personally I think its immature to nt atleast maintain "a hello,hi"relationship to reduce the awkwardness when u happen to run into eachother in public.

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  8. IssyB21 January 2013 at 01:41

    Hehehe true that Miss durryBeez!
    But when we say friendship between exes hi and hello with someone who used to mean everything to you is even worse than a very close friendship. As nice as it sounds, its a lot harder to deal with when you find yourself in that situation...I speak from experience here :)

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  9. Unknown21 January 2013 at 02:06

    Well this is totally dependent on the kinda break-up. My first ex and I broke up mutually basically cos we were gonna be in 2 different continents. We're still friends till now and nothing's ever awkward between us. As regards a break-up that stems from a cheating partner or from a partner who finds another lover, I believe there's no reason to still be friends with such except you still wanna go back to that person. And also a lot of people automatically assume that they're friends with their exes after a break-up.
    People should learn that there is a difference between a friendship and then someone you say hi to. Saying hi to someone don't automatically create a friendship between you both...

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  10. IssyB21 January 2013 at 06:53

    Hey ladi
    Very Well Said!
    But in your case yea its easy cause you guys are quite far apart..and might not even get to see in years. No much awkwardness in keeping up with each other via social networks and probably here and there fone calls question: do you think you guys would have stayed friends if you were in the same geographical territory?.

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  11. Unknown21 January 2013 at 22:28

    Well guess what Issy, we actually both ended up in the UK 3 years ago and she wanted us to get back together but I was sorta reluctant cos I had decided to stay single for some time. So I think, in response to your question, we would still be friends if we were in the same territory. And till now, nothing ever gets awkward between us at all even when we go out with our other friends from when we were still together. But if I had cheated on her, I don't think I'll still be looking for a way to stay friends with her really! In the case of a break-up where one fell out of love, it might still be easy to stay friends but it would be a tad awkward for the one who didn't fall out of love. I don't believe both of them would fall out of love for each other...I'm waiting for part 2 of this lol

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  12. issyB22 January 2013 at 05:39

    You said it ladi!!
    She had unsettled feelings she wanted to come back!

    Hehehe the part two is out o!!!!

    Thanks for your responses!! *hugs*

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  13. Ini Koko23 January 2013 at 13:26

    Show me who's friends with her EX and I'll show you who's cheating on her new boyfriend..

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  14. issyB25 January 2013 at 07:07

    Hahaha!!!
    Now that's one way to look at it!
    But no always so sha o

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  15. deji27 January 2013 at 06:49

    brilliant write up issyb.
    here is my story
    pls share it with others
    dated a girl 2 years ago we broke up cause she wanted a break and havent gotten over her till present. she is dating someone else tho but she thinks we are just friends..that i have no feels at all for her. it kills me to see her happy with someone else. should i just tell her for keep up the circus on my account? its complicated staying friends with yoour ex.... really? deji

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