Lifestyle

HEALTH: Dealing with depression

Surely, lots of people know or have an idea of what depression is. Depression is a mood disorder, an illness that affects a person's body as well as the mind. Depression has various twists to it, ranging from feelings of sadness, anger, frustration or anxiety to hopelessness, emptiness and so on. Depression, like any other illness affects anyone from kids to the elderly. I’ve divided this article into segments.

We’ll be looking at the causes, effects, types, symptoms, prevention and treatments of depression. Now, starting with the causes, an exact cause has not been found but theories have been made, hence the following:

-BRAIN CHEMISTRY
Depression can be caused by chemical changes in the brain. Imbalances or shortages of certain chemicals play a role in some cases of depression.

-FAMILY HISTORY
some families have issues with depression, therefore the tendency of the illness being inherited.

-ALCOHOL/DRUG ABUSE
Excessive intake of alcohol and harmful drugs can lead to depression gradually.

-MEDICAL CONDITIONS
certain health conditions like cancer, long-term pain, menopause, etc. can also cause depression.

-STRESSFUL EVENTS
These range from relationship troubles, to job issues, financial difficulties, death of loved ones, divorce, academic failure, childhood abuse etc.
Now the Effects. . .
 
 Depression can change the way you see yourself, your life and those around you. Depressed people see things negatively, they have that belief that situations cant be solved in positive ways. People suffering from depression are likely to use alcohol or illegal drugs as a form of escape and this shouldn't be so. Health problems tend to be on the high side with depressed people, and suicide risks are also increased.
 
Depression is a medical illness, not a sign of weakness and It is treatable. The types of depressions, symptoms and treatments will be discussed in the next article.
 

by PHOENIX.
ff @unveiledmagzine we ff back

 

 

MORE THAN A FRIEND

by Elegbede Olajide

Meeting you was a good thing that happened,

My friendship skills you helped me sharpen,

You stood out from all your peers,

Full of life and love you were and still are.

You were wanted by all and sundry,

If you had offered, they would have done your laundry,

Your outspoken nature won you lots of fan,

Including me, your ways I started to learn.

If only you would listen more to your friends,

And take a pause from the message your heart sends,

If only you'll learn to learn more,

You'll save yourself lots of heart sores.

You deserve the best, I always knew that,

But to get it, with some of your ways you have to part,

Like throwing away life's realities,

And thinking all that matters is your affinity.

Take your time and be religious with it,

Study yourself well and discover the rhythm of your

beats,

So when you feel the heat and realize you've found it,

You'll flow and synchronise together with ease.

We've fought and argued but I still care,

Even sometimes when you think my mission isn't clear,

I've only got one thing to tell your big ears,

I'll always be a friend and to me you'll forever be dear.....

MAKING THE RIGHT CHOICES

By Phoenix Owunmi

We all have to choose at one point or the other if we'll achieve greatness or not.I may be a bit young,but I've seen and heard enough to decide not to be a failure.Not to look down on myself
and not to rely solely on others because i know what i'm destined for and its nothing short of greatness.

Everyone should put in an effort to make a choice.Not just any choice but the right one. Its one thing to know the truth
but another to actually put it to good use.
We've all got dreams and aspirations. Dreams to reach out to the world,dreams to be successful,dreams to be at the
top,dreams to be a positive point of reference. But all these are just dreams until the right steps are taken,until the right choices are made.

Trials,travails,stumbling blocks,ocean's waves are all along that path to greatness and achievement. But patience,wisdom, and determination,coupled with the
right choices will get one there.
Think on these,and make the right choices today.

Ff @unveiledmagzine

MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR VALENTINE

by Chiazor Belinda. O

Valentine's Day is a special day all over the world. It is the 14th day in the month of February acknowledged as the day of love and affection, a day of giving and receiving gifts such as greeting cards, chocolates, flowers, teddy bears etc between people, lovers especially. 

There are different variations of the origin of Valentine but the general consensus is that it is named and celebrated after a saint who died over a thousand years ago, Saint Valentine.


However, according to the Catholic Encyclopedia, there were at least three saints named Valentine who were all martyred on the 14th of February.


Whatever the case, after surfing the net i gathered that these different versions about the history of Valentine can be narrowed down to that of the Protestants and the Catholics.


There is also the debate over the authenticity of this celebrated day. Many theologians argue that it is a pagan Catholic holiday which glorifies the homosexual relationship between an Emperor of the third century, Claudius and a young priest named Augustanus Valentine while others posit that Valentine actually defied the Emperor by going against his decree that soldiers should not be wedded in order to fully perform their duties as defenders of Rome, especially to prevent the distractions that come with having wives and children.

Like I said, 'different versions' of the story.
Please note however, This is no history slash theology lesson, so no redundant yapping about how Valentine's day came to be.
Morally, religiously justified or not, Valentine's day so happens to be one of the most recognized celebrations the world over.
But the question is this, what does February 14th mean to you?
The general theme for Valentine's day should be 'giving' not necessarily receiving. Your intentions and your actions are what's most important on that day.
Nothing is wrong with giving yourself a treat, but you would be surprised at the pleasure you could derive when you give without expecting to receive.
Make someone happy, put a smile on that child's face, lend another a helping hand, place that phone call that's long overdue, send that heartwarming text message, fulfill that promise, induce that laughter. Give, give and give some more! To me that's all that matters. Even though these are things you should do every day, Valentine's day just makes it all the more special, like a 24 hour reminder of how you can impact positivity into a person's life. Now, how cool is that?
Bottom line is this; make the most of your February 14th for it comes only once every year.

  

TODAY'S RELATIONSHIPS

by Chiazor Belinda O.

I was surfing the internet on my mobile sometime last week, looking for a 'Future' song to download (Future is a black American male Rapper whose songs I happen to like very much) when I stumbled on an article on 'The superficiality of love today' by one Katie Hinderer. It piqued my interest so I abandoned what I was initially searching for and read the article instead.

The author wrote about an e-book she got from a fellow author which left her feeling very depressed for the book passed the message in a way the author did not necessarily intend. It was a love story or rather, the author's idea of what a love story should be about which the writer of the article found mildly disturbing for how could love be about selfishness and distrust? Then where did love come in?

Basically the article not only expressed the writer's alarm on what people now perceived love to be as opposed to what it used to be, but it felt like I was the person who had written it because those were my exact thoughts and for that I felt somewhat compelled to write this, like I would explode if I did not.

The writer of that article lives inside my head. She probably feels the same exasperation I feel when a member of the opposite sex says 'I LOVE YOU' without meaning a single word or the annoyance when her female friend weds a man who is practically a stranger purely for financial gain and maybe she also feels the disgust I feel when I sense a man's words and actions are propelled by lust and desire, not genuine love and affection.

And so I ask; Are we all out to manipulate and trick each other? And if so, to what end?

Where are the relationships where both partners genuinely love and accept each other for who they are and what they stand for, warts and all? Do those kinds of relationships no longer exist? Relationships based on love, trust and understanding rather than physical beauty and sex? I can go on and on with these questions but who will answer them? Better still, who can?

Nevertheless, I do not wish to be mistaken for some kind of relationship expert, or love guru, for I have had my fair share of failed relationships. I am no saint either, for each relationship that turned sour I am partly to blame. I have taken people for granted and acted selfishly on countless occasions but I won't say my relationships failed for lack of trying. However, this much I would say...

The pressure is on and it has become a little more than some of us can handle. The superficiality is sickening, the insecurity appalling, the jealousy and insincerity unbecoming. While it is in our nature to be jealous and insecure and what have you, we should not be influenced by modern society's idea of what love should be. True love is selfless not selfish, humble not arrogant, full of depth not shallow. So it may be in our nature to cheat and lie but if you love somebody you would be considerate and sensitive enough to know that your every action has a consequence.

Bottom line is this, we should take our relationships a lot more seriously than we do, but please do not misunderstand me.

I'm not saying we all joke around when it comes to matters of the heart for I know a lot of people are actually really committed to their relationships, I am simply urging us to put in more effort, that way if anything goes wrong you won't be blamed on your lack of commitment. Whatever kind of relationship you have established, a friendship, a love or a business relationship, put in your best.

 A lot of us have being burned for giving another our trust which is not something anyone wants to regret doing. But being promiscuous, unfaithful and inconsiderate is never the way to go. It does not make you 'The Man' or 'The Woman' and It does not make you cool like the movies and music videos would have you believe. You attract what you get. That's the law of Karma, so be a real man or woman today by your actions and your words, for you are truly 'true' to yourself and your partner  when you say what you mean and mean what you say.

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DEALING WITH BREAK UPS

"I really can't do this anymore. I'm tired of our constant fights, I'm tired of the insecurity, I’m tired of you. Let's just end it ".

"I'm sorry if this hurts, but we can't keep seeing each other. It's over between us".

These are some of the things people say during a break up.

Breakups can be rough or amicable, but no matter what, nobody wants to go through them. It's never easy when a relationship ends, whatever the reason is, whether you want it or not. The breakup can either make or mar you, it can trigger all sorts of painful and unsettling feelings.

You had your whole life planned out, both of you happy ever after. Yes? No? You had a rude awakening when your partner jumped ship, dumping the relationship and dashing your dreams. The future you always imagined was taken away within seconds, you're lost, not knowing what to do.

Breakups are hard, even harder when you never expected it. While you loved up, your partner was thinking of how to break up with you. Series of emotions rush into you-rage, loneliness, heartache, rejection or more.

For men, it's even harder than they make it seem. While women may resort to burying themselves on their beds or in bowls of ice cream and long hours of phone calls with their friends, men are mostly all by themselves. Many men resort to drinking, rebound sex or allowing their feelings explode into anger.

The big question however is "how do you cope with it?"

Here are a few tips on how to deal with a breakup:

* IT'S OKAY TO GRIEF: grief is a reaction to loss. It's normal to feel sad, frustrated and cranky. The feelings will lessen over time.

* AVOID HIBERNATION: the usual response to a breakup is to avoid social activities. This can actually make d pain linger. So, hang out with friends, family, colleagues. Be with people that make you laugh, go to the gym, swim with friends and generally make you happy.

* TAKE OFF THE GLASSES: many of us wear the *relationship glasses* after a breakup, where you see happy couples everywhere you go and you see yourself as an unwanted single person not worthy of love. This would only make you feel worse.

* REMOVE MEMORY TRIGGERS: there are different things that can remind you of your ex- pictures, clothes, songs, even smell. Don't dwell on these, walk around your house with a box and remove those reminders.

* KEEP YOUR SPACE: even if you and your ex have decided to remain friends, break away from each other right after the break up, i.e not seeing each other, no calls, text msgs, pings. This might not necessarily be permanent, but continue until you feel you can converse with him/her on a platonic level without wanting to get back together. If the *dumper* asks to see you, ask yourself "what is the point?"

* FIND HAPPINESS IN OTHER AREAS OF YOUR LIFE: there is a saying that "the best revenge is living well". Do those things that you've always wanted to do, there are personal pleasures you can enjoy on your own even if you are in a relationship.

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CAN EX-LOVERS EVER REMAIN FRIENDS (Concluding part) by IssyB

I started this article yesterday when I explained how wonderful having a relationship can be and when it hits the rock bottom and one party is suggesting being friends.

Well, my mama schooled me well so I will first say “hello” to you all and then try and push myself to think out of the box and give you a beautiful write up…

The question remains “Can ex-lovers ever remain friends?” 

Well, most people say yes without even thinking about it but I wanna look from the “no” perspective.

NO:

- No because in every breakup no matter how smooth it seems, one person gets hurt maybe even two and there might be some hidden bitterness and staying friends might just be a practical joke!

- No because if you guys have been sexually involved it might be very hard to stay off. Before you know it, you might just be having friendship sex with no definition of what you both are doing and no direction or map of where it’s headed.

- No because you might get too jealous or pose a threat to anyone else that might be interested in sharing their lives with your ex.

- No because it will be very hard to confide in them. How weird will it be to start discussing your new catch with the old one…? I say #Team awkward

- No because you will be stuck in one place… you won’t be able to move on because you might be building false hopes and mansions on the air.

- No because that bitterness I talked about previously and yeah that jealousy too might just keep increasing.

- No because you know your mutual friend will be rubbing off in your awkwardness.

- No because you are only buying time before resentment shows up wide in your face.

Too many noos Issy whatever happened to believing in miracles??? Well, telling yourself the truth is the miracle. It doesn’t happen all the time… so while you may think you are strong enough to “get over him/her”, it becomes virtually impossible when you constantly have to see your ex… Take a bow, leave and get on with your life… OOOO Issy take your own advice… hehehe see you guys soon… drop your comments too…

Thanks.

IssyB

CAN EX-LOVERS EVER REMAIN FRIENDS???

 (Part One)

 

Okay, here is the time I insert the angry face smiley cause this is my second time of putting down this article. Blame my stupid phone and the super crazy battery just went off before I could save it, hian!! I so so liked the first one, I'm so looking forward to loving this one. #chill let me save first biko. Done!

As you all know my name remains IssyB (bows) and I will be trashing some very disturbing relationship issues. Okay let's work through this together. You meet someone; you guys get close, then close, then close and close and start up something called a relationship. You share secrets, laugh, cry, argue, good times, terrible moments, start making promises, kisses!!! Oh I love this part, probably get intimate, build up trust, tight hugs, crazy moments, fights, and learn to appreciate each other against all the odds and flaws... then things start to change, bad... rare calls, low communications, then worse, no hanging out, nagging and fighting excessively, and the worst...THE BREAK UP.

Now whether or not you have experienced a break up or not you will obviously agree with me there rarely is anything called a mutual break up, one person got hurt! Now it’s left for the breaking up party to say stuffs like 'sorry it’s really not you that has the problem, or oh you are a really nice person and I will really like to stay friends’... this is what I call a peace offering of friendship after unleashing the monster.

Obviously now the person dumping someone will maybe consider this and say yes and welcome a whole new level of awkwardness or let their exes go with the wind.

Honestly as nice as I think I am, I'm not sure I can stay friends with my ex unless I am hopeful for a comeback... to be continued and yeah I remembered to save this time*wink*

IssyB

IN A RELATIONSHIP 

                              by IssyB

Hey guys, I'm IssyB. Let's start the day together with different relationship issues, from the good to the complicated, the totally bad and of course re-addressing and helping you reach a close to perfect relationship.

TRUST
It takes very little effort most times to fall for someone but an even greater effort to trust completely.
I for one will not just fall in love with someone I don't trust enough to love me as I deserve. A lot of things you get to discuss in your relationship will definitely need a trust backing for instance, you can't just start up a conversation about your past with someone you don't trust to understand where you are coming from. You cannot be in a relationship and not swear in to complete openness with the other person involved. How then will it work? This brings us to the start up point of trust being important in a relationship.

A lot of people believe its the love they have for each other that keeps the relationship going but what really keeps you going is the trust.

The very healthy relationships you see and envy have trust buried deep inside its roots. For me trust provides the comfort in a relationship where two people can learn to count on each other..'I trust him enough to keep my love and all his promises' 'I trust her to stay faithful' you do not know for sure that these things will remain as they are or the love will wax stronger by the second but you trust and rely on them.

A healthy relationship involves two people willing to do certain things with and for each other fondly and with no particular reason for a pay back.

What makes up solid trusting in a relationship is not far from the ordinary as when a person is willing to sacrifice, respect, love, spend quality time, share their problems (good communication), give room to want to understand whatever the other partner is going through, again sacrifice.

Notice how sacrifice and respect comes before love in this sequence? While there are many important qualities that are important in relationships, I can pair my list down to two items: respect and TRUST. I have to respect you enough to love you. If I respect you then the love can start to flow. It won't cross my mind to take you for granted or make dates and not keep to them or ignore you when you are desperately yearning for my attention.., all these things work together... you don't need to go to heaven to experience unconditional love, God gave us here on earth... find your way around it... its not very difficult. So before it looks like I am writing a textbook, I will just stop right here. I TRUST that you have learnt at least one thing from this. I am learning to trust you guys hehehe. Blame my imaginations running wild*wink*

Signing out as IssyB.
I love to love!!!